Hey, I Woke Up

Hey, I woke up. Yay. While I was sleeping and having a dream that I was going to have brain surgery the next day, someone in Akron was getting shot in the scrotum. He's also got a statewide pickup warrant from Ohio State Patrol so once they patch up his family jewels he's going to be hobbling into jail. He was described by the cops as covered in tattoos. The scene on Romig road was described as covered in blood.

That could easily have been me. Not that I was any kind of a gang-banger. I was too lazy and too scared to be a real criminal. I was always more slug life than thug life. But I was gettin' close.

This dude's laying in a hospital bed with bandages on whatever's left of his testicles, medical staff going back and forth. Strangers coming up and asking questions. A police guard. Nothing to eat. None of his friends.  Probably none of his family. Everyone else can go when they want to but he's stuck. Probably all he wants right now is a smoke and to be home. And it sounds like he's not going to be home for quite awhile.

God bless him. Thank God he's still alive to feel bad. And I thank God that the worst I've had to deal with so far today is wondering if I have enough cash for a pizza and if the salt and fat in it is really that bad.

It's not that I take pleasure in his suffering so I don't feel so bad. It's more the realization that there is suffering everywhere. Always has been, always will be until the end. So maybe I'll be grateful for this cigarette and coffee. Maybe I'll thank God that my brain tumor was just another stoopid dream. And maybe I'll try not to wear my problems on my sleeve. Maybe when someone asks how I am I'll tell them that I'm on the cutting edge of ecstasy. And at that moment maybe they'll smile at my inanity and maybe just for an instant in that one life there'll be just a little less suffering.

Worth a try, anyway.